We’ve all heard parents claim they’re raising children. But, the statement itself is not true. Parents are actually raising grownups (more specifically, adults). The distinction between the two is pretty important though, because when you break down the definition of the two, you’ve got this..
Children: a young human being below the age of puberty, or below the legal age of majority. An immature or irresponsible person. Children assess risk in terms of the chances they have of getting caught.
Adults: a person who is fully grown or developed. Emotionally and mentally mature. Adults assess risk in terms of actual consequences.
When we make the shift mentally that we’re are raising adults, not children, we have to stop and ask ourselves – is the behavior our child is exhibiting something that we want to see in the adult version of our kid? Don’t get me wrong – I fully believe that we still have to understand age appropriate behaviors, but in doing so, I think it’s important that we don’t forget to discourage behavior that we wouldn’t want to see in an adult or the adult version of our kid.
Lets be honest.. we’ve all seen a grown adult throwing a temper tantrum like a five year-old because they didn’t get what they wanted/thought they deserved. And it is NOT OK. So I try to remind myself that what I allow my child to say or do, will ultimately tell them that that specific behavior is okay.
When we raise adults, not children, we are teaching them how to be self-advocates, and believe in themselves.
When we raise adults, children start to exhibit independence, and they know that they can do whatever they put their mind to.
All of my parenting efforts are to raise a good little dude that becomes the best version of himself as an adult. And it starts from day #1.